The afternoon I found out that jackass 3.5 wasn't going to be shown in theaters, I began to weep until I eventually I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up, it was dark, and again I began to weep. But this time I wasn't shedding tears about 3.5; this time I was sad because my local skate park doesn't have lights which meant I had to wait till morning to skate. Poor me, huh? Once I cried myself dry, I had an epiphany: We could show jackass 3.5 at the Ojai Playhouse and all the money raised could be used to buy the Ojai skate park some lights! When Paramount gave the green light to do it, I wanted to cry tears of joy but I was fresh out of eye water. So instead I shit my pants in the happiest way possible. I was floating on air until Dimitry told me that this was like raising money to have extra fingers grafted to my hand because I didn't have enough digits to wear all my gold rings at once. After pondering his viewpoint for a moment, I realized Dimitry is a fucking dick. In conclusion: Help the skaters of Ojai skate at night by coming to our little town and watching 3.5 with a bunch of the cast and crew! —Dave England
Help "Skate Ojai" in their "Light Up The Night" challenge to raise funds for this illuminating cause! Even if you're not in the immediate area to attend this extra-special jackass 3.5 screening on April 9th, you can still learn more about donating here: www.ojaiskatepark.com
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