Photo of the day: Jackass 3.5

The sun has long since set on the day as I write this, but it just dawned on me that I'm sitting on a butt-ton (sorry, rest of the world, don't know the metric equivalent) of images from our whirlwind week of working abroad on jackass 3.5. So in the coming months, whilejackass 3.5 is still considered to be a hot topic as new segments are posted each and every Tuesday and Friday throughout April and May on joost.com, I'll be dribbling them out here, there and everywhere. Otherwise, what good are they? It's not like we'll ever do another fancy book like this again, so flick them onto the Interweb like boogers I must. This is the first of many to come and it comes straight off a crooked alleyway in Madrid, Spain just before our dapper period pieces burst onto Plaza Mayor (where Johnny Knoxville subsequently burst open his head, but more on—moron!—that later).

Feeling like Michael J. Fox pre-jitterbugs? Go back to the future and relive our frenetic days in Madrid last November!

http://www.dickhouse.tv/dickhouse/2010/11/the-jackass-3d-european-campaign-spain-pt-1.html

http://www.dickhouse.tv/dickhouse/2010/11/the-jackass-3d-european-campaign-spain-pt-2.html

http://www.dickhouse.tv/dickhouse/2010/11/the-jackass-3d-european-campaign-spain-revisited.ht

MADRID SPAIN 2010

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johnny knoxville's toss to jackass 3.5 (take 6)

If you're one of the 10,314,312 (and counting!) frequenters of the jackass facebook fan page, you've probably already seen one take of Johnny Knoxville's call-to-doody for the coming of jackass 3.5 to joost.com on Friday, April 1st—in other words, tomorrow! Yes, sir (or ma'am, heck, I'm not playing gender favorites), very soon, perhaps even sooner than you think if your cranium capacity is as muddled as ours, you will be able to watch the episodic dribblings from our latest ode to stupidity. So please consider this the calm before the shit storm. Wahoo!

http://www.dickhouse.tv/

jackass 3 deleted scene featuring...britney spears?!

On Tuesday, March 29, a day that will live on in Interweb infamy, the Laws of Improbability were blindsided, upended, and redefined when Britney Spears teamed up with the jackass cast—a union far more unimaginable than that of Rob Dyrdek and Justin Bieber. Granted, there was an intermediary production involved—ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live)—quite unlike that time Brad Pitt rolled with us for an evening of monkeying around on the streets of LA, but hey, you take your pop-culture icons where you can get 'em (and believe me, even then it's not easy in the least).

Yesterday afternoon, Ms. Spears issued this mysterious statement via Twitter: "Just did my first @jackassworld stunt with Knoxville and company. Knoxville better watch his back... -Britney." From that point on the @jackassworld time line had nothing but Britney mentions dancing all over it (not to mention nearly 3000 new followers) up until the "stunt" was finally unveiled that night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, where Johnny Knoxville introduced the clip as a jackass 3D "deleted scene" during his appearance to promote jackass 3.5.

 Britney's "Poo Cocktail Supreme" has since been embedded on every Tom, Dick and Huffington blog, but I might as well add it here for pop posterity as well. Heck, never know when a "Johnny-come-lately" that's been living under a McMansion-sized rock in the suburbs of America (or in the jungles of Costa Rica) might stumble upon it having no clue that the world has already consumed, digested and pooped it out in favor of the next pop-culture feeding frenzy. For instance, anyone remember that ridiculous "winning" mania that swept the nation for a godforsaken weekend? Yeah, well, Jesus wept. That's all I have to say about that.

My personal opinion is: I would give anything for being Britney

http://www.dickhouse.tv/

Bam Margera Got Knocked Out By A Girl At SXSW

It sounds like a "Jackass" stunt, but it actually happened: Bam Margera got knocked out at the SXSW festival by a sea otter. Not a real sea otter, but a woman he called a sea otter. Let this be a lesson to all drunk guys: No matter the circumstances, including when you're being harassed by drunk, obnoxious a-holes, it's probably a bad idea to compare a girl to a large underwater creature, particularly one with whiskers. (I've got to say though, after reviewing several sea otter photos, it's actually a pretty cute animal.)

If you look at the image above, you can see Bam's black eye. He told TMZ he was hanging out at SXSW late Thursday night, walking through a crowd of a bunch of drunks, "when someone said something rude to me, so I began making fun of a big girl in the group." He continued, "I called her a sea otter and asked her why she's in Texas. She should be in Alaska laying on an iceberg because she's a beached whale."

And that's one way to get a black eye. A photo of Bam with the girl is below and honestly, I don't think I blame her. Making fun of girls for being heavy is mean and lazy. What do you think, did Bam deserve to get knocked out?

http://www.mtv.com/

jackass 3.5 benefit screening in ojai, california

The afternoon I found out that jackass 3.5 wasn't going to be shown in theaters, I began to weep until I eventually I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up, it was dark, and again I began to weep. But this time I wasn't shedding tears about 3.5; this time I was sad because my local skate park doesn't have lights which meant I had to wait till morning to skate. Poor me, huh? Once I cried myself dry, I had an epiphany: We could show jackass 3.5 at the Ojai Playhouse and all the money raised could be used to buy the Ojai skate park some lights! When Paramount gave the green light to do it, I wanted to cry tears of joy but I was fresh out of eye water. So instead I shit my pants in the happiest way possible. I was floating on air until Dimitry told me that this was like raising money to have extra fingers grafted to my hand because I didn't have enough digits to wear all my gold rings at once. After pondering his viewpoint for a moment, I realized Dimitry is a fucking dick. In conclusion: Help the skaters of Ojai skate at night by coming to our little town and watching 3.5 with a bunch of the cast and crew! —Dave England

Help "Skate Ojai" in their "Light Up The Night" challenge to raise funds for this illuminating cause! Even if you're not in the immediate area to attend this extra-special jackass 3.5 screening on April 9th, you can still learn more about donating here: www.ojaiskatepark.com

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cute product alert: jackass device skins

Time to strike up the merching band! Or is that marching brand? Hell, I don't know. Just stupid words, anyway. I could go on and on, I suppose, but time is not on my side and the tick-tocking lot of it keeps slipping, slipping, slipping into the future—a future that is rapidly (¡muy rapido!) being taken over one technological device at a time.

But where there is a product there must be protection and that's where we come in. Or, "Safety first!" as Danger Ehren would say... among many, many, many other things. This one time, Chris Pontius even had to punch him because he wouldn't stop saying things! But I digress as that's a story for another day. In the meantime, why not take a break from skinning the flute and instead start skinning your laptop, iPhone, iPod, Blackberry and other hardware with this outstanding selection of jackass designs:

http://www.MusicSkins.com/Jackass

http://www.dickhouse.tv/

commencing countdown to jackass 3.5

Sorry, Major Tom, but I already blew my Europe wad on the once impending jackass 3 Blu-ray/DVD release so I guess it's back to launch pad basics for now. That said—prepare thyself! For in just five days from now, jackass 3.5 begins to stream episodically viaJoost.com on Friday, April 1, 2011. Some, I'm sure, will say this release date has all the earmarks and toeholds of a dicky April Fool's deal, but I can assure you this is no joking matter. I mean, do Chris Pontius and Ryan Dunn look like they're fooling around in the photo above? Hell no! This is as serious as rocket science comes. And if for a second you think they're set to probe Mianus, you're sadly mistaken, my friend, because they're headed straight for Uranus. So bend over, Rover, and let jackass 3.5 take over your online life come April 1st!

http://www.dickhouse.tv/